


Dark and Cold

by Spoiler1001



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Attempted Murder, Corpses, Grief/Mourning, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Near Death Experiences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:54:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28352007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoiler1001/pseuds/Spoiler1001
Summary: Caleb and Lucien talk about things not magic related.
Relationships: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

Lucien knew that he had known the wizard. The memories were gone, but Lucian felt a familiarity with him, but there weren't the physical memories there. Lucien felt like he was missing something being thrown at him. He knew all of them, the new companions they each brought forward an emotion from him. The wizard brought forward too many emotions. It almost made him want to lash out. Lucien felt a rush when he dispelled that shield, making the snowfall over the group. 

The meal was silent and there was a moment where the group Gawd no idea how to proceed. 

Until the wizard turned himself into a giant orange owl. Which was shocking. Lucien could see him as he was but could also see the new form. Pride flashed grim his chest. That was new. 

The flight to continue to speed up the journey to the city. It was nice to not have to chase them anymore. Lucien found Caleb's feathers warm. He wanted to purr and a small chirp escaped his chest. The tower was welcome. Sleep sounded wonderful but…

"How did you know the other-" Lucien asked from the doorway of Caleb's room. Caleb froze. His hair was down the shade a wonderful color of copper. There was a streak of silver under his hair. 

"Mollymauk was a friend. He pushed me to be better." Caleb wasn't looking at Lucien. He was still, his shirt half off. 

"Is that why you can't look at me now?" Lucien kept his distance. 

"No. I last saw Mollymauk differently than most of the group." Caleb sighed. 

"And how was that?" Lucien took a step forward. The door slammed shut behind him. 

"Like this." Caleb turned around and Lucien was face to face with his echo. Mollymauk stood in front of him and looked at him with red eyes, but with a white film that almost seemed pink. The skin was pale and bruised. The lips were chapped. There was a bloodied wound on his chest. Lucien blinked, his natural eyes showing him the image of the body, but he knew this was Caleb. 

"Oh." 

Caleb nodded and turned around and dropped the disguise. "Veth and beau have the ability to forget the pain of that day. But I remember everything." 

"I don't know what to say to that." Lucien's tail froze. 

"Just know- if the worst happens, we, my group, have concern for you, as you, Lucien. Your friends might not be able to say the same." Caleb put on his sleep clothes. "Our priority is you going home." 

Lucien stood there in silence. Caleb kept his back to Lucien. Lucien couldn't hear breathing, so he just backed away. "Rest well Mr. Caleb." Caleb let his breath go. 

"You too, Lucien," Caleb whispered. Lucien walked out of the room as Caleb sat there with his face in his hands. Lucien made his way to his bedroom. 

It was beautiful. Linen and silk were everywhere, soft pillows covered the bed. He laid on the bed and was swallowed by comfort. Lucien took a deep breath and closed his eyes. 

He thought about staying getter for a while. Laying here, he could forget about all of his worries. 

A high pitched meow grabbed Lucien's attention. Lucien looked up to see an orange cat looking at him. 

"Hello dear. You're a special creature aren't you?" Lucien smiled and reached a hand out towards the cat. "Come here, darling. I won't hurt you." 

The cat took a step forward and rubbed against Lucien's fingers.

"Your boy needs you." Lucien hummed.

The cat just meowed at him. 

"I'm not your boy but I appreciate your concern." Lucien pulled his hand away and curled into the bed. The cat walked closer to him and laid on Lucien's chest.

He fell asleep, with the cat purring on his chest. 

* * *

Caleb wiped the tears off his face. "Keep an eye on him," Caleb whispered. Frumpkin chirped and ran up the cat door. 

"Why do you hate us?" A female voice whispered as the door opened. Cree stood at the door. 

"We don't hate you." Caleb sighed straightening himself up.

"You can never leave well enough alone." Cree snapped. 

"We just want him safe." Caleb sighed. 

"No. You want  _ him _ . You'll just get him killed again." Cree hissed. "But if it will get you from stopping him from finishing his duty, here." She slammed something into his chest. He cradled it with pure instinct. 

"What is-"

"Your friend. The thing keeping you from as him alone." Cree grabbed his head, chanting softly. 

Caleb gasped and his eyes fogged over. 

He felt his memories shift. Instead of Lucien walking away from Caleb with sad eyes, he was angry, Lashing out at Caleb with magic. He remembered Lucien using the blood magic to suffocate him. He was dead. His body froze. His breathing became slow and shallow, still clutching the orb. Cree just tucked Caleb into bed and left the room. 

* * *

Lucien woke up to the orange cat jumping on him. 

"What's wrong?" He whispered. 

The cat just yelled. 

"Caleb- Caleb!" Lucien shot up and ran to Caleb's room, having his Tombtakers bang on everyone's doors to wake them up. 

Lucien opened the door to Caleb's room. He looked over at the bed and blanched. He could see Caleb getting pale, barely breathing. No. No. No. No. This was supposed to be safe. 

Lucien found himself at Caleb's side. The pearl in his hands drew his attention, but Caleb was fading. Lucien placed his hand on Caleb's chest, letting his eyes grow dark, letting his magic keep Caleb's heart beating. He was vulnerable but his eyes kept watch. Caduceus arrived first. 

He looked at Lucien with his jaw set. 

"It's not what you think. The cat brought me here and his breathing was faltering." Lucien whispered. "I'm keeping his heart beating." 

"Let me take over," Caduceus said, casting zone of truth. "What happened." 

"I don't know. I talked to him and he was physically fine, just missing his friend. He showed me the injury that killed him. I didn't see anything that would make it seem like he was hurt. This was supposed to be safer. If I have been awake, I could have done more." 

Caduceus cast greater restoration and Caleb took a deep breath. Lucien released his magic and let his hand cradle the back of Caleb's head. 

"Mollymauk…" Caleb looked up and touched Lucien's face. His voice was distant but Caleb seemed to be coming back to himself. 

Caduceus watched Lucien just grab Caleb's hand and squeeze gently. 

"Would you know who would do this to him, if he was completely fine when you spoke to him?" Caduceus asked. 

Lucien froze. "I know it wouldn't be your group, so it had to be one of mine, but I had said that I wanted to travel with you and we all agreed." 

"There's at least one person in your group that has no problem lying." Beau snapped. Lucien looked up. "If you really had nothing to do with this,"

"He didn't, but gather the Tombtakers." Caduceus sighed. Lucien stayed right next to Caleb.

The Tombtakers entered the room, bar one. 

"Where's Cree?" Lucien asked. 

The group looked around. No one had the answer. Lucien went quiet. "She went behind my back. She betrayed me." 

"She betrayed you weeks ago. This was a coverup. Caleb sat up. The orb in his hand flashed. "She called this Mollymauk." 

Lucien ran his fingers over it. "It would be best if you had this for now. I need to finish my lesson." 

"And Cree?" Beau asked. 

"Fuck her. You saw what it looks like out there. She'll be dead soon anyway." Lucien was still holding onto Caleb. "I'll stay here anyway. Keep Caleb safe."

The group looked at him. Caduceus nodded. "He's telling the truth. Let them rest." 

Frumpkin sat between the two of them purring calmly. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Lucien laid next to Caleb, his tail waving in the air. Caleb was sleeping, his breath shaking. The air smelled of cinnamon and hazelnut. It was comforting. The fireplace was lit and warm. Yasha sat on the couch nearby, keeping watch and making sure Caleb was ok. Lucien played with Caleb's hair, musing. Lucien had a thought: a blue comb or pin would look dazzling on him. 

Caleb still held the bead in his hands. He was clutching the bead so hard, his knuckles were white. 

Lucien felt something to his side and liked up, instinctively leaning over Caleb to protect him. 

"You look tired." Yasha's voice was soft. "You aren't taking care of yourself." 

"There are more important things at the moment. I'm no longer…unbound by my responsibility." Lucien relaxed and looked up. "That freedom was your friend, so…" 

"So you don't think you can be that person again." Yasha took a step towards Lucien. "We could promise you things like before but-" 

"Empty promises. I thought about using that little bead." Lucien ran his thumb against Caleb's cheek. "But I still have this….everything. It would just be an extra piece that I can't worry about."

"Are you scared?" Yasha asked. 

Lucien laughed. "Fear was something that left me years ago." 

"Do you trust your teachers?" 

"I trust my family." 

Caleb stirred in his sleep. Lucien looked at Caleb's face. He was relaxed. Lucien started to purr softly, just to soothe him. 

"Did you want us here? When you realized?" Yasha leaned towards him. 

"I don't know. The only reason you are here is that your employer was hoping I would go through you all to get to her." 

"And she was right. At the time." Lucien looked at the glowing bead. "Now… I find myself being pulled to all of you. If things were different, I would have left everything and ran with you." 

"You still can." 

"And live like Fjord? He got attacked just for being on a boat. I can't just look over my shoulder for however long I live." Lucien ran his fingers through his hair. "I will do this. I have to." 

"No, you don't." Yasha shook her head. 

"Whatever your plan is, I don't want to know. I just want this done." Lucien smiled. "I earned my place as the nonagon. I earned this power. I suffered through every lesson to get here." 

* * *

Caleb woke up pressed into Lucien's chest. Caleb could feel a thick scar under his shirt. His hands were still clean, holding the bead. Looking around. It was just the two of them. He jumped a bit. The memory of the night before clashing with-

"You're ok. I didn't hurt you." Lucien pulled away. 

Caleb looked at him. "Why did you stay with me? Cree-"

"Cree went behind my back. I wanted my new travel companions safe." Lucien cupped Caleb's cheek.

"But you aren't Mollymauk. You have no loyalty to me." Caleb tucked the pearl into a hidden chest pocket.

"I have loyalties to you, with the fact that you are traveling with me and that you want to travel with me." Lucien pulled away. "We should be heading to Aeor soon." 

"Lucien… I heard you with Yasha last night. If we could see to it that responsibility was taken care of, would you be interested in traveling with us?" 

"What would you be planning if I said yes." Lucien raised an eyebrow. 

"You would just have to trust me." Caleb wrapped his arms around himself. His eyes were bright, full of ideas, and plans. It made Lucien's mood light up. 

Lucien chuckled and patted Caleb on the chest. "I trust that your plan won't be boring." He stepped out of Caleb's room. 

Caleb just smiled. "Life with us never is."

* * *

Lucien hummed an old show tune, waiting by the exit, with the other Tombtakers. His tail was moving throughout the air in a slow, easy-going way. He had his back to the wall, eyes closed. The other group was talking about something quite intently. Lucien wanted to know what they were talking about, but he wasn't a part of the group anymore. 

Eventually, the group walked out to the main room, one by one. 

"Are you ready to go to get this started?" Lucien asked.

Caleb looked lucien in the eyes. "We would rather not do this but we understand what must be done." 

"Wonderful." Lucien smiled. Caleb clenched his jaw. 

Jester frowned, whispering a prayer that sounded familiar. Lucien picked some words in infernal, but it wasn't his business. The group was overall serious. Air seemed to freeze around them despite the tower being warm. Lucien grabbed Caleb's arm and pulled him towards the door. 

"We don't have a moment to lose." Lucien hummed. Caleb adjusted his straps and went outside. 

Outside was cold. Lucien shivered and felt anxiety fall into his stomach. It wouldn't leave him. He wanted to turn around and go someplace warmer. The tower was extremely tempting until Caleb called it back. Lucien was facing his destiny. He was…

He was scared. It was cold and he had no idea what he was doing. All of his lessons from the deities that taught him from birth was coming to a close. There was one more lesson. One more trial. His magic rang out and his nerves were on fire. He was tempted to take his heavy coat off, but it was still cold, so that was a bad idea. Caleb watched him with empty eyes.

The chamber that he was needed in was hollow. There were icicles and stones from the ceiling. Everyone's breath was visible. Cold pressed down on Lucien. He was getting squeezed. Yasha stood by the entrance, Beau with her. They gripped their weapons, ready for a fight. The tombtakers stood towards the back, giving their Nonagon space. Lucien's tail was swinging back and forth, nearly missing Caleb's hand. Caleb's hair was easily tied back, chunks of coming to the front of his face. Ice crystals were forming in the corner of his eyes, before vanishing.

Whispers of the wills of his teachers filled Lucien's ears. He took a deep breath, followed by another one. 

"Place the crystals. Opposite ends of the room. We should start now." Lucien dropped his coat to lessen the restrictions of his spell. He was wearing a white silk vest, unbuttoned all the way down to his belly button, and tucked into high waisted pants. Caleb took a sharp breath. Lucien almost smiled. His hair was untied, dipping loosely down to his shoulder blades. Caleb just grabbed a strap at his waist, his knuckles turning white. Caleb shouldn't be there, but Lucien's tail found its way around Caleb's wrist. Caduceus stood by the Tombtakers. Jester had something shiny in her hands, and she stood by Fjord, her tail wrapping around his leg and tears in her eyes. Lucien hummed and began his spell. Caleb's pulse quickened. 

One of his eyes flashed. Then another, then the rest. Lucien was glowing bright red. Even Mollymauk's tattoos seemed to shimmer. 

Caleb pulled a small dragger out of his waist scabbard. 

Lucien was pulled inward. A caring but monotone voice spoke to him. 

_ Lucien. Of all the lessons, this might be the one that stuck the hardest. The other Nonagons never let love be their power. You have loyalties. Your final lesson, the source of all of your power:  _

"Sacrifice…" Lucien whispered. The words echoed between the Tombtakers. 

The chamber grew hot with the near-black ooze of old blood seeping through the walls. There were screams of anguish and blissful laughter. Lucien made a noise that was a mixture of both. His eyes turned jet black, the color leaking into the veins around the eyes. The scar on his chest opened a bit. Lucien expected an attack from his teachers but they hesitated. 

He turned to look at Caleb. Caleb had tears in his eyes. His hands were clasped around a dagger, shaking. 

"Look at you, Mr. Caleb… moving on from failing to break into a hospital." Lucien chuckled. Caleb let out a choked sob. The blade sunk into his heart. Right on target. Lucien pulled Caleb into an embrace, pulling the blade deeper. "It's ok. You always knew the way to my heart. It will get better." Lucien whispered. His tail squeezing Caleb's hand before going slack. One eye went out. Then another, then the rest. The tombtakers watched as the ooze burned and the oppressive aura faded. 

Caleb sank to his knees, pulling Lucien closer to him, keeping him warm. Jester ran up, summoning the diamond. The Tombtakers took a step forward, but Caleb stabbed the wand into the ground. And Caduceus cast something, making them all freeze. Caleb summoned the tower around them. Jester ran to the door and took a step forward. 

Caleb was just, cradling Lucien. Caleb pulled out a bead. It was no longer glowing. 

"Is that-" Jester asked. 

Caleb nodded. "He remembered." 

"We can bring him back in one piece." Jester nodded. 

Caleb nodded and Yasha knelt next to him. Caleb stepped away. "I'm...I have to leave."

\---------------

Lucien opened his eyes. Yasha had his head in her lap. "...Yasha, you look radiant as ever." 

"You remember us. But who are you?" Yasha brushed the hair out of Lucien's face. 

"I- you saved me. I am your friend and ally." Lucien sat up, looking around. "Where's Caleb." 

"He's… not ok." Jester wiped the tears from her eyes. "He had to-" 

"I was going to die anyway, but because you came along, I succeeded. I'm free to be Mollymauk again." Lucien pulled off his shirt. And brushed off the dried blood. "I'm gonna check on him."

\----------------------

Caleb laid on his couch, a familiar tapestry wrapped around him. He stared at his fireplace in thought. 

"I should thank you. Because of what you did, I could be brought back." Lucien's smooth voice filled the room. Caleb didn't react. Lucien took a step closer. "Is it ok if I sleep here tonight?" 

"Do you still sleep naked?" Caleb sat up straight, still clinging to the tapestry. 

"Only if you want me to." Lucien smiled and placed a kiss on Caleb's forehead. "But there's time for that later. Sleep now." 

Caleb slept clinging to Lucien, his head on the other's chest. Lucien slept in Caleb's robe with his tail wrapped around Caleb's foot.


End file.
